Another Parenting Mishap

IMG_3449London has been asking for months to cut her hair short.  She has curls in her hair which I absolutely love but because of how fine her hair is we often put her back in a pony tail often at her request. I try often to put her hair in fancy braids and twists like I do to her sister’s hair but she rarely lets me  indulge. I tried hard to find a photo with her hair down but couldn’t find one in the last 3-4 months. This one is with her partially up at the end of the day.

The reason saying all of this,  is the other morning I said I would indulge her and cut her hair short. London just turned 6 and up until now I have always cut her hair. You probably know where this is going now don’t you?  I asked her repeatedly how short she wanted it and she pointed to just below her ears. I thought that was too short so I intended to cut it a little longer. Now as I mentioned I have cut/trimmed her hair before but I totally misjudged the curl factor and just after I made the initial cut around her head, she instantly  regretted her decision. Now at this point all the saw were the tendrils of hair coming down into her lap and didn’t really see how short her hair was. She panicked though and I couldn’t finish putting in the layers and ensuring both sides were even.

She went to the bathroom and held in the tears, so brave. Her first comment was “at least I don’t look like a boy” and her second comment was “how fast can it grow?” My heart absolutely sank for her because I so know what it is like to have a bad hair cut and I have shed too many tears in the years gone by over numerous disastrous hair cuts at the hands of so called professionals.

I decided that I wasn’t going to touch her hair further and take her to my hair salon after school. So I put a small pony tail at the top of her head with the front part of her hair and kept telling her she looked beautiful.  I offered to drive her to school as opposed to taking the bus as I felt so guilty and she again stoically said no and she pulled down her winter hat even further past her ears, hoping no one would notice.  On the way out she said her tummy ached and I knew that was due to her haircut.

All day my heart ached and my own stomach had a pit in it for the misery I just caused my 6 year old daughter, although I truly thought that although it was much shorter than I  intended to cut, she looked more beautiful.   I had to go to the mall for an errand and contemplated buying her a new shirt, or hair barrettes or even pick up a special treat in attempt to bribe her misery away – indirect shopping therapy – but I resisted (it was hard too)  for  I didn’t want to enable an unhealthy connection to soothe her sadness with something shiny and new or tasty.

When I picked her up from school, I asked with hesitation what people thought of her ‘cool’ hair cut and she said no one noticed and her shoulders slumped even further.  I told her we were going to the hair salon just to clean it up a bit so it will grow a little faster. She asked whether it would be long again by next week and I had to say no for obvious reasons. I tried to reassure her that she looked so beautiful and could pull off any hair cut, short, medium or long hair but if she wanted to grow it out from here I will support her completely.

This morning I was able to take the following two photos using the ipad, she resisted when I pulled out the camera and insisted that I don’t send them to ANYONE.  They aren’t the best quality photos but they give you a glimpse of what I honestly think is now an adorable hair cut on her.  Two days later and she is still very gun shy about the whole hair cut and I can certainly relate so I started to show her beautiful actresses and singers who have had great short hair cuts. She doesn’t know any of them but I assured her that the ones I showed her were talented actresses and musicians and had very strong spirits and characters because of their shorter do.   I think she did sit a little taller after seeing a couple of Pink videos as she is becoming quite the little songstress these days.

 

photo (4) photo (3)

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