We have done it. Officially we have stepped foot onto a path that puts both of us at a personal and professional crossroads. Our house is up for sale and I have given notice with my employer, with my ending date only 3 days away. In some ways it might be more accurate to say that we just stepped onto a roller coaster ride where some days/hours we are riding high and excited about this adventure we are embarking on slowing hearing the tick, tick, tick as we climb up the roller coaster anticipating the excitement of swooshing down the other side and at other times we are full of doubt, fear and anxiety as we fear the next loop or descent before us.
I know from my previous self-work and learnings how to better manage these moments of doubt and fear of the unknown and I am pleased at how these feelings are far more temporary as I can pull away from them more easily than in the past.
So as of this coming Monday I will be officially unemployed no longer receiving a healthy paycheck and instead fully employed as a Mom, Wife, Advocate for Reilly, Friend, aspiring moving specialist on how to make the move from Toronto area to Calgary with the least impact on our family in a cost effective and adventurous manner, and also developing my future career as a Change Management specialist. For those that know me, no one would be surprised that I have already created several to do lists on what I am going to do with my new found time and as usual these lists are aggressive, ambitious and are multi-discliplinary in nature. Having said this though I have a couple of to do’s that involve redefining what it means to be successful in a day which is going to be hard.
For instance I have always found it hard to creatively play with the girls in the past. I am not sure if I would have been like this or to this extent if Reilly was ‘typical’ as it is so hard to engage her in play activities or traditional play activities. Either way my goal at the end of the week is to be able to look back and be able to reflect on many moments where I was able to let go of what needs to be done around the house or what could be done around the house – cleaning, administrative work, advocating, spending time on personal projects, etc. and just be with the kids. Whether it is dancing around without a care in the world to what comes on the radio, or reading countless books without concern for the time, or playing a board game or teaching London how to play a card game, or patiently stacking blocks for Reilly to knock over over and over. Believe it or not this is going to be very hard for me but I think an essential part of my growth.
The other equally hard task that will now fall in my domain is cooking. From here on in I need to start reciting the mantra that “I love to cook, I love to cook, I love to cook!” Yikes. The one thing I do look forward to is changing up our diets significantly so we eat a lot more vegetables and whole foods. Not that eat bad right now but we do consume far too many carbohydrate meals and don’t get enough veges in, especially Reilly.