A couple of weeks ago I started up a 3 month yoga pass at a local yoga studio. It probably has been 5 years since I have been to this studio and about the same since I maintained a regular yoga practice. The first class I went to was rather off-putting. I was expecting, wanting and needing a restorative class but it ended up being a strength oriented class and the instructor kept on talking with very few moments of silence. Normally I would have adapted and enjoyed the session but for some reason this class jarred my nervous system to the point where I wanted to yell out to the instructor to SHUT UP.
I was a little freaked out at this internal voice and how much I wanted to just scream and rebel from what we were being led through. The situation I was experiencing had nothing to do with the instructor, it was all me. I left the class angry at myself, angry at the instructor for changing the scope of what the class was supposed to be about, for it did indicate restorative on the schedule, and angry for not being able to get a good nights sleep these past few months. Of course looking back on this experience I can laugh as I am on the other side again of sanity, as a result, of Reilly giving us some better (not perfect) sleep patterns.
I ventured to try another class on a different time/day, still sleep deprived at the time, restless and worried what would happen. I laid back in shavasana (corpse pose) trying to will myself to relax from head to toe when all of a sudden my ears filled with a beautiful sound of the instructor strumming on her guitar lulling us into a deeper state of relaxation. She continued with the musical wave of notes she was playing coupled with her singing songs she wrote. This particular class couldn’t have been more different than the previous one and I am convinced it wasn’t an accident.
This instructor led us through a beautiful flow of simple poses, holding each one a little longer than normal so we could feel a deep release – mentally and physically, and before we knew is she had us back in shavasana (corpse pose) with her giving us what felt like a private concert that went right to your soul. Unfortunately my writing skills can’t describe the experience with complete justice and sometimes you just need to be there.
The other layer to this experience is that in this class she made it all about the dream state and bringing that into the forefront of our consciousness just enough to feel the freedom that dreams create. I couldn’t help but connect this theme to my own blog site name, again recognizing that a message was being given. I know I am grasping at straws but again I don’t think my participation in her class was any coincidence but a friendly reminder that I am part of something bigger and to hang in there. I know this will sound crazy to some and maybe I have fallen off into the deep end. When you do fall into the deep end do you know that you have fallen? Universe, please keep up these positive reminders, I need them.