Sometimes nothing is something

I often wish that someone would develop a way to tap into the thoughts that go on within our minds, of course a device that can be controlled by the individual only. For within my head I have so many interesting dialogues going on and thoughts (don’t worry I am not hearing voices) but yet I have a huge challenge in trying to transfer these articulate, well formed insightful thoughts and dialogues from mind to the computer screen via my finger tips.  I am sure most people have the same problem or do they? Maybe what I need to do is simply set aside some time each day and just write and not be too discriminate about what comes out. Hopefully over time I can get better at transferring all the interesting pearls that lie within me down on paper, or at least go under the premise that they might be of interest to someone, even if it is just me to reflect upon.

Right now in my life at 38 years of age, I feel like I am at the pinnacle of change. It is exciting, terrifying, overwhelming and did I say exciting? Yes I did!  Great.  The bones of where I am at is that I am just past the breaking point of having a mid-life crisis. Although I have a lot of great things and people in my life, my job was not going well , I gained 10 pounds, my running was labourous, and at home I just felt that we were getting by, never feeling in control or on top of things.  So I have started a huge quest to turn things around and I think I am just over the crisis point for despite more or less the same schedule and demands in place, I do feel some of the weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I definitely want to expand on this in the posts to come.  For now thought I am more than confident that I am tapping into the energy that is needed to get me on a better path that resonates with who I am versus who I should be or out to be.   I don’t want to say the ‘right path’ for I don’t think my destined path or anyone’s destined path is straight but rather one that is marked with detours, obstacles that need to be overcome, temptations to test one’s inner focus, and some wonderful terrain that allows you to feel like you are floating down a lazy river in a tube frolicking in the sun.

Much to my surprise and delight I am being drawn to a program that is being offered at Kripalu called “Playing the Matrix and getting what you really want”. I am not disillusioned that this program alone is going to provide all the answers but rather I believe this program is going to compliment everything else that is falling into place. I initially found this program a few months ago and although it caught my attention I dismissed it as being too far (8 hour drive), difficulty in leaving M with the kids for a long weekend, the costs involved knowing that there are other expenses on the table, etc. and quickly dismissed it as not doable. However, it has haunted me since I came across it in the sense that the program kept on surfacing within my thoughts. So on the weekend I brought it up to my other half and he gave me the go ahead to attend it. Simple as that. So I am now registered to attend the program in early November. The funny thing is since I have made this reservation I feel a change in the energy around me, in a positive way of course, and I honestly feel that I have just done something that was meant to be and will further contribute to the flow of future actions. Very, very exciting!

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